Will Once
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A gothic fantasy love story. With zombies.

How do you imagine you will cope when the zombie apocalypse happens? Do you see yourself as a fearless hero of the wasteland with a double-barrelled shotgun cradled nonchalantly over one shoulder? Perhaps you picture yourself as a frightened victim, running from abandoned house to graveyard to shopping mall?
But how would you feel if the apocalypse happens and you are one of the zombies?
That is the premise of Love, Death and Tea. We take a very English estate agent along a very unusual journey, from office junior to zombie to ... well, that would be telling, wouldn't it? You are just going to have to read the book for yourself. I wouldn't want to spoil the surprises.
But first, you've got questions. Lots of questions...
I like to read love stories. Is this going to be really scary?
No, not really scary. Just a little bit. A token, a smidge, a splash. There's a cat called Bodkin, an eternal romance and lots of tea. My 12 year old son read it without getting too many nightmares or wetting the bed more than ... oooh, a dozen times. His therapist says he is much better now. Seriously, it's a pre-watershed gentle story with no naughty words. Promise.
I like to read horror stories. Is this going to be too lovey dovey?
Of course not! It's got zombies in it. A dragon. Guns. A 1960s Volkswagen campervan.
So who is it for then?
Anyone with a sense of humour. Or at least anyone with a sense of humour and a credit card. If it was a movie, it would be a perfect date movie. Something for everyone. Honestly, Mr Spielberg. My contact details are in the bio.
But I'm bored with zombies. Aren't they so ... last year, darling?
Yes, me too. But you've never seen zombies like these before. How many zombies have you seen sharing a cup of tea with the chairwoman of the local Women's Institute?
It sounds very juvenile
Think of it as a post-ironic examination of alienation and discrimination in a multi-racial environment, where our hero is a symbol of both oppression and redemption.  The zombie is a metaphor for everyman and his journey represents the experiences which shape his understanding about who he really is.
I'm convinced. Where can I get my hands on this literary jewel?
We have decided to keep it nice and simple. Love, Death and Tea is only available on Kindle.